Romance Redefined

When we were first married and for several years afterwards my heart was usually in flux when Scott and I decided we would go on a date.  My expectations would build only to be let down and I would be miserable.  There have been so many times that our "dates" actually turned out to be horrible because I would end up mad because I was hurt.  Why?  I wanted the romance of him still trying to woo my affections.  A date to me meant he had taken the time to think about what we like to do together, organized a plan, and then would execute the plan with finesse and perfection.  However it usually played out like this...we would get in the car at which point he would say, "Well, what do you want to do?"  I would internally be screaming, "What?????" as I would say, "Whatever..."  He would recognize my disappointment, become agitated himself, and we would end up doing something rather mediocre with melancholy attitudes.  I blame a good part of this on the stresses of life that crowd out and distract our abilities to think beyond ourselves.  However, in the last few years we have discovered the joy of home dating, which in my opinion is far better than "going out."  The girls go to the grandparents for an overnight stay and we stay at home.  The season determines what we might do.  We seriously enjoy working on home projects together.  If he has to change the oil, I sit in the garage and talk with him.  We have painted the deck on a home date.  Sometimes I make his favorite dinner or we order pizza.  One of our favorites is to just sit, drink coffee and talk about church on the back deck.  I am way, way, way past the idea of needing to "go out."  If we "go out" anymore it usually involves a trip to Starbucks and maybe dinner.  I tell you this for several reasons.  First off, if you are a gal who likes to "go out" and is continually frustrated, then just take the bull by the horns and plan it yourself.  Use it as an opportunity to woo your husband.  I know you want to be the one wooed but maybe he will catch on.  I also want to encourage you to give home dating a chance.  If you need help with childcare, don't be afraid to ask for help.  Your marriage is worth it.