Sometimes these are my favorite posts because they are such random thoughts and I enjoy reflecting and re-reading them in like 6 months from now to see what all the randonmess led to. : )
I have really been pondering homeschooling, philosophies of education, how politics truly affect education (even homeschooling), the type of person that makes a good teacher in the public system, my own growth as a homeschooling mom, long-term goals regarding homeschooling/education, homeschooling curriculums, and more. Wow! Isn't that a lot and even really heavy? I still get newsletters from the State Support Team regarding new programs implemented by ODE. These make me wonder why? The system is so broken. I realize it so much more than I did while working within the system. I don't really feel there is any hope. My heart feels so conflicted because there are so many wonderful and Christian teachers in the system, including so many of my friends. In regards to homeschooling, I have grown a true love and desire for more of it. I struggle with whether I should continue with K12 or go out on my own in a more traditional homeschool approach. It is difficult for me to decide because I truly love, love, love the curriculum we are using with K12. My biggest complaint is how time consuming it is to input all the data. It becomes tedious and grueling. I appreciate the accountability yet am frustrated by making sure I cross all my t's and dot my i's. Since I don't believe in coincidence, I am wondering how God continues to write our story since the homeschool group planning team asked me to join their ranks. I feel so ill-equipped yet honored as well. I am really excited to see where this leads me and our family.
I wish I could do something creative every single day. It rejuvenates me. I get so much enjoyment from taking on a project and creating something from the raw materials.
My MIL and I have similar tastes yet are very different. I pretty much have an appreciation for many different decorating styles and designs. I would love to know how best to pull off the totally eclectic style, merging different styles, items, and such all together in a random yet cohesive manner. My MIL is completely not interested. Everything must be matchy-matchy, using "our colors", nothing funky, spunky, or fun. While it may sound like I am complaining, I want to assure you that I am not. We are just navigating through our differences and really what I realize is that it just doesn't matter. We are not living for this life but for the next. I only have one foot in this world. There are some that disagree with me and I completely get their point. However, I want to be sure we are all clear on the non-negotiables. Scott and I are the parents. We will follow HIM before anyone else. We will answer to HIM first. The rest is just 'stuff'....even the "Grandma's House" sign that is hanging in my kitchen.
Anxiety. Wow, just last week I thought I was going to never recover from the pit of despair and anxiety that had gripped my entire being. What is the deal? Seriously? I don't want to necessarily go into all the gory details but it was one of the worst pits I had found myself in yet. Paralyzing really. Thankfully, through prayers and love from the few that were aware of my crazy state, my ship has come back to center. I don't share these things for sympathy or even to beat the same drum over and over again (I know I have been dealing and sharing about my anxious ways this winter). I share these things because I desire to be real and honest and transparent. I think there are many of us that hide behind a mask of seeming as though we have it all together. Hahahaha...yeah right! No one does! Let's face the facts. We all deal with it a little differently. For me, last week was my crash and burn week...emotionally, physically, mentally, and even spiritually. Thankfully, God always sends the right people who come alongside me and help pick me up out of my pit. They prayed for me, encouraged me, let me "get it all out" (the kind where you lose all self-control and yet you know they know your heart regardless of how ugly you might be), and loved me.
I love the sugar cones at Aldi! My recent yummy treat is two small scoops of Edy's Light Fudgy Brownie ice cream on one of these sugar cones. In fact, I am going to go make me one right now!
Seeing my girls read makes my heart overflow with joy! Kate recently got hooked onto mysteries. She loves reading Boxcar Children and just started reading Nancy Drew. I can't believe it! Anna needs a little more encouragement but is fully capable. She loves reading Magic Tree House mysteries. It also thrills my heart when they beg me to read to them. Right now we are reading Mary Poppins.
I can't say it enough....I love, love, love my husband!
