Daily Dying to Flesh

It is a struggle and most days I feel as though I am losing this battle.  I wouldn't trade homeschooling the girls for the world.  I genuinely mean that...but there are so many things that just get under my skin and begin to drive me 100% insane!  Like the constant state of disaster I feel my house is in.  I will be honest, I hadn't actually mop, mopped the kitchen floor in quite awhile.  Gross but true.  I had spot-cleaned but not an overall clean.  Anyhow, I had the opportunity on Tuesday night when my precious parents took the girls to town for dinner and I stayed behind.  It felt invigorating to get the floor mopped, pantry put back in order, truly do a deep clean on their bathroom, actually put the laundry away...all the while trying to ignore the 100 million other things that need down around here.  Nothing cuts me deeper right now than to hear my sweet husband say something about our house being unorganized or unruly.  OUCH!!  I keep telling myself that the house doesn't matter...all the details in the house come second to last in comparison with schooling the girls.  But the fact of the matter is that I feel insane when it feels like I have no control over this place.  Yesterday, after feeling such a sense of accomplishment over the floors, I noticed coffee spilled all over the kitchen, broken spaghetti noodles laying all over thanks to a little one helping me last night with dinner, and the fresh tablecloth a total wreck with crumbs.  It is like nails on a chalkboard to me.  People who can keep a tidy house WITH children at home 24/7...YOU AMAZE ME!  Course, I don't believe it!  Anywho, I don't mean to air my dirty laundry per se, it is just sometimes it really gets the better of me.  Mothering, being a wife, and teaching are the hardest jobs.  Add in there any kind of blows life sends your way and it just seems to compound and snowball. 

I pray that my eyes will be fixed on Christ and I will be focused on HIS GLORY...not my house, not my desires, not my complaints, not my worries, not my schedule, not my time, not ME!