Christmas Spirit vs. Bah Humbug

I love Christmas.  I love classic, traditional Christmas.  My mom was never really into all the decorations, homemadeness of the season, nor bows, baking, etc.  Me on the other hand...I love to embrace it all.  It all started one year during high school in my home ec. class.  My aunt was the teacher and I had to put in so many hours of "home ec-iness" activities outside of class.  Anyhow, to get hours I spent a whole afternoon at her house wrapping her gifts.  She had beautiful paper that all matched.  She had ribbons and bows that matched the paper and weren't peel and stick bows that were all scrunched up with a strange shape that really didn't resemble a bow.  Her house was always decked out.  She always cherished (still does) things that are uniquely different, yet simple, uncomplicated, yet strikingly beautiful.  As soon as I was married I was hoity-toity about everything Christmas.  All of my paper matched, with equal parts of green, gold, and red...all very traditional Christmas colors.  No blue, turquoise, snowman, Santa, whimsical, childish paper.  Yes...I was a total snob.  I remember my friend Becky and I going shopping at Kohl's and she would roll her eyes as I would make a beeline for the wrapping paper, scrutinizing over the choices.  I would then spend whatever I so desired, although I usually found the best deals at Odd Lots (Big Lots for those who don't know what Odd Lots is).  I remember one year buying plain brown kraft paper, a snowflake stamp, and gold stamping ink.  You guessed it...I made my own paper.  I would measure the paper and cut the paper then stamp it, let it dry, then wrap.  My sister got tied up somehow in helping me that year.  I am also very particular in how I wrap my gifts, always folding raw edges and the paper must be cut to perfectly fit the box.  I had a strict NO GIFT BAGS policy...with myself!  As you might imagine, I have been teased and laughed at, even envied ( :) ) by others for my gift wrapping goodness!  I don't care though because it is a dream of mine to actually run a paper shop where I could wrap gifts, selecting the perfect paper, etc.  Throw in come craft goodness like stamping, cards, etc. and it would be perfect!!  I love wrapping so much I have even volunteered to wrap other people's gifts and even considered placing an ad in the newspaper to wrap peoples' gifts for them for just a small fee.  So you can see...I am nuts about wrapping, lock, stock and barrel! 

Are you waiting for the Bah Humbug?  Well here it is....KIDS CHANGED EVERYTHING!  Now don't get me wrong...I LOVE MY GIRLS!!  They are precious!  But as they get older they want to help.  I am impatient.  Last year was really tough.  This year I have done much better.  I let the girls select the paper, I cut, they wrap, I try to patiently teach them how....reminding them about details (the raw edges), and then I cringe, cringe some more, and then ask them which ribbon they want.  The ribbons are falling off, raw egdes are showing everywhere, and on several gifts the paper is all wrinkly and just simply, a mess.  This doesn't really make me feel Bah Humbug though.  Oh, and yes, we definitely pulled out the gift bags.  They are everywhere under my tree and they don't all match my paper.  While yes many of these things bother me because I am OCD about gift wrapping, I am so in love with the girls' enthusiasm and excitement I can overlook those imperfections.  This is part of creating the Christmas spirit in the girls and the beginning of sharing and teaching the girls about the joy of wrapping a beautiful gift. Learning curve, learning curve ....

So exactly what is my Bah Humbuggness regarding?  I just don't have time.  I feel as though I am getting sloppy in my efforts.  Candles don't get lit as much.  The baking isn't necessarily enjoyable but "just get it done."  Giving the gifts that were baked to the neighbors and mailman and others were more of a "let's get it crossed off the list" instead of being full of joy and excitement...Love!  It's all there, but it continually gets buried underneath "the to do list", LIFE which continues to move way faster than myself, or even my sadness of what I want to do but can't get to.  We haven't done anything with advent this year.  I wanted to try the Jesse Tree but haven't.  I wanted to do a simple paperchain, but didn't.  I wanted to make more homemade gifts and sew, but didn't.  I wanted to send Christmas cards, but haven't.  These things make me sad.  It is like I have lost a little bit of myself.  I guess it part of getting older, having children, trying to make all the ends meet to create a special time for them, full of magic and Christmas spirit, without losing sight of the real reason for the season.  It just gets harder and harder because of distractions!   

You are probably thinking...Cara, do you need Prozac?  Hahahaha!!  Sorry for kinda blue posts lately.  Maybe it is the idea that another year is ending that I am in a reflective mood.  Scott and I have been thinking, learning and praying about really heavy topics lately that my whole spirit is heavy.  However, I sense the Lord lifting and freeing us of these burdens, many to which we put upon ourselves.  So, as the days draw nigh, closer to Christmas Day, I think how sad I will be when it will all be over in a blink. However, I will count my blessings that I will be able to enjoy a full week with my husband home, our family completely together, to usher in a New Year!