AhA MoMeNt!

Today I was talking with a friend about some things that needed to get done for an event we were working on together.  I just had corrective cornea surgery and she was encouraging me to stay home from the event.  As I was teeter-tottering between whether I should go or not or what I need to get done, she said to me, "Sweet girl.  You struggle with taking on too much and over-extending yourself.  I can't help you with that."  Those might not have been her exact exact words but it was pretty darn close.  The Holy Spirit pricked my ears and heart.  Wow....after all these years, that comment really struck a chord within me and I heard it loud and clear.  There was more to the conversation and I decided not to go to the event.  I have also said "No" to a few other things lately and it felt good.  During my time of recovery, which I think know the Lord uses these times to make us truly "BE STILL and KNOW HE is God!", there was a respite of a few days of my hectic schedule.  I rested, slept, and thought about Christ.  No extras.  No thoughts of this worry or that one, the next thing on the schedule, no chores, no anything else.  It was such a special time.  My mom hosted all of us at her house because she knew I can't resist the temptation to try and DO, especially in my own house.  I was so thankful for her willingness to continue to be MOM even though I am a grown adult.  Anywho, my dear friend was right...everyone around me sees it but I just keep forging ahead, for some reason thinking that there is too much work to be done...too many broken lives that need Christ.  I exhaust myself to the point that it is not really healthy because my "down time" is even more unproductive like spending time on FB, which I truly do despise, not eating healthy, not getting to bed early enough, not truly being prepared for anything until right when it matters, and the list goes on. This is a sin problem because I am trying to work out my righteousness in a way...and I can't.  It has already been taken care of.  My pastor's wife is so kind and gentle yet firm and speaks such truth when she simply tells me, "Trust Jesus Cara."  This is a common theme in posts for me over the years, but here it surfaces again.  It is interesting to think how the Lord has created me in this fashion for His glory, yet it IS for His glory and not my own.  Even when doing Kingdom work, we can tend to try and make if for our own glory and busy ourselves with the work.  I don't know if I am making any sense or even typing correctly because I can't hardly see what I am writing....so please excuse all my errors.  The bottomline is, when she told me that today, it reminded me of all the brokenness around me that I am trying to FIX and really it boils down to, "I can't help you with that."  Only Jesus can!