Being Refined

I can't sleep so I thought I would try to put into words the things that are on my mind.  I shared how the Lord has lead us to schooling the girls at home this year.  Well, since the exciting first week of starting we have had some highs and lows.  Right now, although we are doing great academically, I would venture to say we have had more lows.  At one point I thought it was spiritual battle but now I recognize this as the Lord's process of  us being in a refining fire.  I lose my patience.  The girls argue.  I have a sharp tongue.  I plead with Scott to keep praying for me.  Scott sits with us during school.  I pray for the Lord to help me hold my tongue and extend my patience.  I thank the Lord for this opportunity and privilege.  I think about the loss of my freetime.  I think about how I don't have time for my hobbies  The girls argue.  The girls don't meet my standards.  The girls laugh.  The girls play.  Today was yet again another day I was struggling to hang on to sanity by the time daddy woke up.  I asked him if instead of going swimming if he would like to have some time with the girls to go run an errand, leaving me the opportunity to be alone.  The girls and daddy were in agreement.  They left.  Soon after they left I called my friend and headed over to her house.  She provided laughter, hugs, Scripture, her heart, advice, encouragement, friendship, and even some awesome hand-me-downs.  It was priceless!  My spirit was lifted.  The girls' spirits were lifted as well.  We had a fantastic evening.  Tonight as I climbed into bed to read a new book (Book 2 of Marta's Legacy Series by Francine Rivers) I first read some Scripture.  Amazing how it can just soothe the soul!  As I was reading I noticed the CD the girls were playing since they always play a CD while falling asleep (and have recently learned how to replay all).  Tears sprang to my eyes as I recognized the CD as the lullaby CD I used every single night for them when they were babies.  While reading His Word and listening to these beautiful lullabies my mind drifted to the precious little girls who were sound asleep in their room.  About each of them as babies, toddlers, preschoolers, and now being full-fledged kiddos!  What a privilege I have to be their mom.  To be their teacher.  I had to get up right then, go kiss them, and pray over them.  I don't know if I am making any sense but here is my point....I can't lose focus!  I am their mama!  God made them!  He made me!  He is sovereign!  He is working out His good work in us...and part of that is the refiner's fire.  He needs to extract our impurities to continue to perfect the good work He started in each of us!  Thank you Lord for your loving kindness, compassion, and mercy!  Help me to see these little girls through Your eyes!